Bitch Please Epilogue. EDIT Please visit the additional links provided at the end of the chapter and info about that promised threesome
Before yall read the epilogue, I just want to thank you all for sticking with this series. I can't even begin to describe to you how amazing it is to have had the chance to bring a smile to your face. That's an opportunity that I will always cherish and hope to achieve with all my comedy stories. Smile, Laugh, Grin like you can't grin no more. Cuz that means that I've accomplished my mission to make you happy!
And without further ado.......the epilogue!!!
They say that the first year of college is always the hardest because you're adjusting to new friends, a new life, and a new goal. Well, it goes without saying that this was the same in your case, except for the fact that you also had to balance the "old" with the "new." At first, you made a promise to visit Levi every weekend and took it upon yourself to drive back on Fridays and come back to Garrison city on Sundays. Unfortunately, after you fell asleep one time on the way back and accidentally drove your car into a ditch, Levi forced you to take the bus.
Even then, it was still hard. You couldn't expect Levi to drive to Garrison city when he had a job, although he did surprise you on a few occasions. At the very least, you two skyped every night and had a ritual where you each would take turns on who would end the call. Neither of you liked to end of course. But someone had to do it, right?
So 6 weeks into school, you were doing fine, making friends, getting great grades, etc. etc. Come week 7 with the second set of exams, you sort of blew two of your exams in classes that luckily dropped your lowest midterm grade. The reason why those exams didn't go as well as you hoped was because you had spent too much time with Levi that weekend. After all, driving 6 hours a weekend really took time out of your schedule. And thus, Levi suggested that you stay in Garrison city over weekends closer to your exams and if he could, he'd drive up to visit you.
And with that, first semester passed by quickly, and you were home for your first winter break.
You snickered to yourself with a hand clutched to your mouth and your suitcase handle in the other hand.
Suspicious right? Hehe.
You slipped a hand into a small pocket of your purse to pull out the keys to Levi's apartment. He was already sitting on the couch when you walked in but stood up quickly to help you with your bags.
Or so you thought.
He slammed the door behind you shut when he pushed you against the wood and claimed your lips, running his hands through your hair. You returned his passion with equal force until the two of you broke for air.
He then laid his forehead on yours and pulled you into a tight hug.
"I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow," he whispered as he kissed you again, muffling your response with his calloused skin.
You pushed him away slightly and fidgeted with your fingers slightly. "Well, Levi, I actually hurried back because I have something important to tell you."
His brows creased and it took every ounce of strength not to giggle at his irked face. "Good or bad?"
"Ehh, both?" you offered nonchalantly with your palms faced up and elbows bent downwards.
Okay so maybe that wasn't the best joke to tell him considering your boyfriend literally became mute. At first, he sort of just stared at your face, and then your stomach, and then his hands.
And you just really wanted to tell him, No Levi. Your hands didn't make me pregnant. It was your dick. But you didn't want to ruin this priceless moment.
Honestly, watching Levi react to pregnancy was like watching him ride on this rollercoaster of feels. The mute phase was soon replaced with questions of "how" and "why," and you debated whether or not to explain to said genius how during sex, the male releases sperm which go fight to try and penetrate the outer layer of the egg. And the sperm that wins gets to combine his nucleus with the egg's nucleus to form a zygote. And then this zygote undergoes mitosis to eventually form a fetus all within weeks.
But anyways, perhaps that was beyond the scope of this dilemma. Talkative Levi was soon replaced with angsty Levi who was trying to determine how best to fit college into the baby scenario, and luckily, before he reached the point of crying tears of happiness, you decided to break the real news to him.
"I'm just kidding, Levi. Geez," you confessed before things took a more intense turn in the rollercoaster of emotions Levi was going through.
Levi stood, mouth dropped and feelings numbed by your utter abuse. ".....I'm never having sex with you again," he declared.
....it took you a full week to convince him to have sex with you again. And he made you feel guilty as fuck.
"Hey," Levi called as he sipped on his morning sitting at the kitchen table . "Can you get me that paper over there?" He was pointing to a table that was about 2 meters away from him.
"Seriously, Levi? Why don't you just walk over here and get it yourself?" you hissed, enjoying your nap on the couch.
Levi raised a brow but hid his smirk cleverly. "Remember that time you lied about being preg----"
"OKAY FINE, BITCH."
"Thanks, honey," he purred as he took the document from you, holding onto your hand a little longer than you hoped for....or maybe not long enough.
He pulled you on top of his lap and placed his tea down as the document floated to the floor.
"H-hey I thought you needed to work!" you stuttered as you shifted around a little bit.
"Ehh? I think now's the perfect time for a break," Levi smiled deviously as he slipped a hand into the back pocket of your jeans and squeezed.
Needless to say, your body was moving to his beat in seconds, and that shit-eating grin was just driving you crazy.
So college passed by without any "accidents," to Levi's relief mostly. And your graduation party was held at Trost Fashion Company of course thanks to Uncle Erwin. Everyone was there to celebrate your arrival back, all except Levi. But it was when Eren ushered everyone to the roof that you knew something was up.
You could hear your Uncle grumbling in the background and Aunty Petra smacking his head to get him to be quiet for your "special moment."
There was a small light that travelled up in the sky like a rocket and then burst into a flower of multi-colored sparks.
"Fireworks!" you squealed in delight as you approached the edge of the balcony of the roof. As the fireworks continued, you looked down towards the grass to see yellow lights re-arranged to spell out three very special words.
"_________, will you marry me?" Levi asked you from behind, repeating those same three words.
You turned around to meet his kneeling figure as your hands shot up to cover your open mouth. Tears pooled your eyes as you happily cried out "yes" and hugged your husband-to-be.
The wedding took place only 6 months later and on the day of, you were a nervous piece of shit. You had already secured a teaching position at an elementary close to your home, and the children you taught had made you a big card that brought peace to your previously tense expression. You were staring at that same card at home when the doorbell rang to reveal a very scattered Hanji and blissful Petra.
"COME ON, _______, WE GOTTAH GET YOU READY AND THEN WE GOTTAH HEAD TO THE VENUE!" Hanji practically screamed in your ear. You could have sworn that with her attitude, she should have been the one getting married.
Petra calmed Hanji down with a few pats on her back. "Now, now Hanji. Let's get __________ in her dress!"
Petra carried a black dress cover and unzipped it on your couch to reveal the wedding dress designed by your Uncle Erwin. It was something he had compromised with Levi since Erwin was practically giving his child to someone else. It was his parting gift to you.
A white wedding gown with a beaded bodice and sweetheart neckline, a simple but elegant dress that suited your features perfectly.
Hanji squealed as Petra zipped you up in the dress and made you do a 360 degree twirl. You eyes were sparkling like a child as you lifted your arms up to get a good look at every inch of the dress.
"I wonder how Levi will look in his wedding tux!" you giggled as you continued twirling. Of course Trost fashion company had to design the tux if they were going to design the dress, right? So Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were left in charge of that matter.
"Psh, who cares, _____? Today is your day!" Hanji laughed as she pulled you into a chair to do your hair. You stared at the back of your left hand where you wore two rings, the ring Levi gave you before university started and the engagement ring. Today you would receive your third ring from Levi.
Your wedding ring.
At the wedding, Levi fidgeted at the front of the altar. You both had picked a venue outside surrounded by a garden of flowers that spanned almost a mile's distance. Beside him were the groomsmen with Eren as the best man. Levi didn't choose Eren. Eren volunteered, and Levi just didn't say "no" in time. And now here everyone was, awaiting your arrival.
"Oi, Eren," Levi said in a low tone as he eyed the Best Man.
"Yes, Boss?" Eren answered.
"Good job on not fucking up my suit on my wedding day."
A toothy grin filled Eren's expression as he rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, you're welcome, sir. Armin and Mikasa definitely made sure I didn't go too wild with the design."
"I just hope Erwin didn't screw up the wedding dress."
"Sir," Eren began as he adorned a confident smile and placed his palm on Levi's shoulder as a reassuring gesture. "With all due respect, I think you're going to be ----"
But before Eren could finish, the organ began its familiar tune indicating the entrance of the bride. All eyes turned towards the double doors which opened to reveal _____ and her uncle by her side.
Levi could only utter one word breathlessly. "Beautiful."
Eren smiled as he stepped back into place where he stood by Armin and Jean. Across from them were the bridesmaids Mikasa, Ymir, and Krista. Hanji was in charge of pictures and was moving around the aisles to catch the perfect angle while Petra sat among the audience with tears in her eyes. Young Rose was walking in front of you with flower petals thrown in front and Sina stood by the altar with the rest as he held a small tray with your wedding rings.
Levi's eyes only rested on you, your face shrouded by the white sheer fabric that covered your beautiful eyes. As Erwin led you up the few steps, he gave you a short hug and looked at Levi in the eyes with mutual acceptance and stepped back to watch his beautiful niece exchange wedding vows with his future son-in-law.
Finding someone special hadn't happened easily. If it weren't for your friendship with Krista and Hanji dragging you into her mess, who knows what would have happened? Or what about that initial confession that Levi rejected? Would things still have gone this way if you had decided not to confess? Either way, now wasn't the time for these complicated matters. Today had come like any other day, but it was today that would take your relationship with Levi to another level. Each day, you two only loved each other so much more, and nothing would break this bond.
Today was the day you could call yourself Levi's wife, and he, your husband.
Finally at the end, Levi lifted the sheer fabric over your face to get a clear look at your expression. You were smiling so blissfully, just as you had the day he confessed to you. It was contagious because he was smiling too as he dipped his head to steal a kiss while the crowd applauded. He took your hand in his as he led you away from the altar and into his car to catch a flight to your honeymoon location.
Erwin sighed with Petra holding his hand as he watched you wave goodbye and throw the bouquet of flowers into the crowd as Levi and you drove off in his car.
"Geez, he really never wastes any time, does he?" Erwin commented as he waved goodbye to you with a wide smile.
"Haha, oh honey. Well let's hope they don't wait to give us grandchildren, eh?" Petra smiled as she hugged her husband.
And the person to catch your bouquet, Krista, was quickly pulled into an embrace by Ymir.
"It's a sign, my dear. Let's get married tomorrow!"
Two years later came another very special day.
"Levi, guess what?" you said to your husband who was reading a newspaper at the dining table with a bread stuffed in his mouth.
"Hmm?" Levi inquired with a disinterested voice, still groggy from waking up.
The bread dropped from Levi's mouth.
"Pregnant! We're going to have a baby, Levi!"
Levi stood up quickly and placed his hands on your shoulders as he asked, "Are you sure?"
You looked at him worriedly before replying, "Yes, I went to the doctor's yesterday and wanted to surprise you but you don't see so happy...."
Levi then abruptly lifted you in the air and twirled you around before he set you down. "What the hell makes you think I'm not happy, you moron? I'm fucking speechless!"
Your husband gave you quick kisses on your cheek and your neck as you giggled and pulled him closer.
"Girl or boy?" Levi quickly questioned.
"Levi! It's too early to find out! But, do you have a preference?"
"A beautiful baby girl just like you," Levi smiled as he rested his head on your shoulder. And Levi's wish was fulfilled because 4 months later, the doctors revealed that you were in fact pregnant with a girl who you and Levi named, Maria.
Seeing Levi with a toddler in his lap was probably the cutest thing in the world, especially when he was at work. Today, Levi had agreed to look after Maria and had taken her to Trost Fashion Company. Upon exiting the elevator and entering through the doors that led to the offices, the three year was immediately spoiled by Eren, Mikasa, and Armin who had all designed cute dresses for her.
Levi approved of all of them....well, except for Eren's.
"Eren, what makes you think I'm going to let my daughter wear a green jumpsuit with pink feathers on it?" Levi growled as he separated his daughter from said designer.
"But green and pink are her favorite colors!" Eren argued as he showed the outfit to Maria.
Maria pouted as her mouth opened to form words that she hadn't spoken before. "No!"
Levi was stunned to hear his daughter's voice as Maria toddled into Mikasa's arms before he turned to Eren with a dark glare.
"Eren," Levi started as the designed slowly stepped back into a wall, "thanks to you, my daughter's first word was 'no' instead of 'daddy.' Be prepared to work extra shifts for this entire month."
And with that, Levi left poor gay Eren to do all of Levi's work while said father spent the day playing with Maria in his office. Even if her first word wasn't "daddy," his daughter had made Levi proud with her good fashion sense.
"She gets it from me," Levi bragged when you visited the two after elementary teaching hours were over, and you sighed at your husband's apparent immaturity.
Erwin then suddenly burst into the office with his hair frazzled.
"Levi, why didn't you tell me my granddaughter was here today?" Erwin asked as he scooped Maria from the floor mat on which her toys were spread about.
Grandad Erwin poked her cheek playfully as she grabbed his finger.
Levi grumbled, and you laughed. "I suppose we're all in competition then, whether Maria will say 'Mommy,' 'Daddy,' or 'grandpa' first!"
It was supposed to be a joke, but surprisingly, all three of you took it quite seriously as you all crowded the child to try and tell her to say your respective titles.
As for which word Maria said first, she said "Mommy" but directed it towards Levi during breakfast one day.
Levi pointed to himself as he wore an apron and set the table.
"....Mommy? As in, me? I'm Mommy?" Levi asked with brows creased.
Maria squealed with joy as she said, "Yes! You Mommy!"
Levi turned to glare at your snickering figure bent over the table with a hand slapping the table.
"Bwahahahaa! Yes, Maria! That's Mommy Levi!" you laughed with tears in your eyes. "Oh god, this is too good!"
"Oi, Maria, who's that?" Levi inquired as he pointed to you.
"Mommy!" Maria replied.
"And who am I?" Levi said as he pointed to himself.
"....this is the worst," Levi muttered as he chewed on his toast and fed Maria small bits while trying to convince her to call him "daddy."
"Oh by the way, honey," you started, "I heard Jean and Eren are adopting a little boy! Wouldn't it be sweet if he and Maria became best friends?"
Today was Prom and 17 year old walked downstairs with you to greet her father and her prom date, who Levi had only approved of after the overprotective father confirmed that he was gay.
"How does the dress look?" she asked as she jumped down, skipping the last two steps and twirled around. She had designed the dress herself with Uncle Erwin's help.
You and Levi exchanged cheeky grins and turned to each other.
"Bitch please, it's fabulous!" you two declared as you both broke into laughter.
Maria rolled her eyes as she dragged her date out the door. "Ugh, Mom! Dad! Why can't you guys just say that it looks good like normal parents?!"
You and Levi saw the two of you off as you two hopped into a limo with your friends.
"See? I told you it'd be nice for Jean and Eren's child to become friends with ours," you smiled as you leaned on Levi's shoulder.
"Yup, an even bigger bonus since he's gay," Levi smirked as he left you standing with your mouth gaped open.
"Wait, what? Maria has a crush on him, Levi!"
"Well, I guess we'll just have to be there for her first rejection."
You sighed with disappointment in your face. "Ah, geez. Why does my daughter have to have the worst luck with guys? I swear she got this from me."
Levi nodded before he realized something.
"Hey! What about me, you brat?"
You turned to Levi with a cheeky smile before running upstairs to the room, and said husband followed you upstairs and cornered you on the bed as he planted a chaste kiss on your nose.
"I love you, ________," he said as he cupped your face in his hands.
"I love you too, Levi," you responded as you did the same and brought his face closer to share his warmth as the two of you enjoyed the evening to yourselves.
Yes, every day was the happiest day of your life with Levi. He had given you so many memories to cherish and would give you more as time passed. He was your biggest support, and you were his. You were living the life of your dreams as a teacher and a mother....and a wife.
With Levi, every day was fabulous.
16 year old Maria was eating breakfast when Levi was giving her a lecture about first kisses and how Maria wasn't allowed to kiss a boy. Ever.
"Hey, hey, now Levi, that isn't fair! Maria, did you know that your dad has kissed a guy before?" you joked as Maria dropped her fork and turned to her father.
"Really, Dad? You were gay?!" she interrogated the irked Levi.
Levi's mouth twitched as he retorted, "I was drunk at a party, which reminds me. You're never drinking alcohol either. And besides," Levi smirked as he continued, "Did you know that your mother likes to watch men have sex with each other?"
You blushed as Maria now turned her attention to you.
"It's not my fault Eren and Jean kept doing it at the office!" you explained as your face grew even more red. "I walked in on them!"
"You were drooling!"
"Levi!!!!" you whined as your husband claimed his victory.
Maria, on the other hand, was confused and decided to ask Uncle Eren about it later.
4 year old Maria was playing with her dolls when her Uncle and Aunt Rose and Sina (who were about 16 years old) joined her in the living room with their noses held high.
"Maria! You're supposed to be our servant by the way!" Rose declared.
"Why?" Maria asked curiously.
"Because, we're the reason your parents are together and you should bow down to our greatness---OW!"
Their dad Erwin walked in on the two twins and smacked them both on the head for bullying his little granddaughter.
"And how exactly did you two end up getting your cousin and Levi together?" Erwin asked with doubtful eyes.
Rose rubbed the back of her head as she pouted. "Don't you remember when _____ came to our Parent's day in 2nd grade?"
"Yeah, don't you remember telling us that it'd be nice if ______ and Levi had a relationship like you and mom?" Sina added as the memory struck Erwin like a bell.
And the realization that Erwin was the reason you and Levi had gotten together in the first place hit him like a brick. But as much as he wished he could have taken back his words, Erwin would never change the past if he had a choice.
Because otherwise, he wouldn't have such a cute granddaughter like Maria who had your eyes and Levi's straight black hair.
The toddler indicated for Erwin to pick her up as he did, with Rose and Sina tagging behind and making funny faces at their young niece who giggled playfully on Erwin's shoulder.
13 year old Maria was dress shopping with her mom's friend Hanji and her Grandmother, Petra. The three had decided to take a break and get a snack at a cafe.
"Sooooo, anyone you like?" Hanji asked with a devious smirk.
Maria squirmed in her seat, but Petra assured her that they wouldn't tell anyone, including her parents.
"Well, I kinda like...Cole...." Maria admitted with a blush.
"Ehh, you mean Jean and Eren's kid?" Hanji gasped. "Uh oh." Hanji quickly leaned over to Petra. "How are we supposed to tell her he's gay?"
Petra quickly whispered back, "I don't know. Are we sure he's gay?"
"More sure than we were about Jean and Eren being gay."
"Yeah I know. So how are you going to tell her?"
Petra eyed Hanji like crazy. "What do you mean 'how am I going to tell her?' You're the one who asked the question!"
"Well, you're her grandmother!"
"You could have been her grandmother too if you hadn't broken up with Erwin back in high school!"
Maria eyed Hanji and Petra back and forth as they exchanged whispered phrases.
Petra and Hanji paused in their squabbles as their attention returned to Maria.
"So...? I like Cole?" Maria confessed again, hoping to hear some sort of reaction.
Petra and Hanji exchanged side glances.
"So we shouldn't tell her?" Petra asked quietly.
"No, hopefully she'll figure it out before their 12th grade prom," Hanji replied.
"Hopefully they'll both figure it out. I don't even think Cole knows yet," Petra whispered back.
"Cole doesn't know what?" Maria interrupted with innocent eyes.
"Uhh," Petra stuttered as she tried to look to Hanji for help.
"That such a beautiful girl likes him!" Hanji offered with an awkward laugh.
Maria's eyes narrowed as she leaned back to stare both Hanji and Petra in the eye.
Maria went on to become a teacher at the Department of Fashion when she was older, a combination of your and Levi's professions. And yes, she had experienced heart break with Jean and Eren's son Cole after she realized he was gay (he hadn't even realized it himself yet). By now, Maria had practically given up on love even though she did admire a fellow professor who taught in a different department.
Maria still decided that enough was enough and decided to ignore the guy and her feelings until a friend suddenly asked her if she could fill in for a blind date with a person who Maria later found out to be the same guy in that other department.
And let's just say that by the end of the date, Maria changed her perspective about love, having found someone that would change her life completely.
Just like how you found Levi.
END OF SMEXYNESS TT.TT
EDIT: I IMPLORE U TO LOOK AT THESE FANART PICS DRAW BY PeppaRin
Golden Girl (her interpretation of the fashion show dress): pepparin.deviantart.com/art/Go…
Frumpy vs. Fake Frumpy: pepparin.deviantart.com/art/Fr…
And the Threesome will be written eventually. PeppaRin is working on this really hot cover with Levi, Jean, and Eren and oh god it makes me shiver XD It's gonna take me a few weeks to write though >_<
EVERYTHING IS SO FULL CIRCLE RIGHT? RIGHT?
GONNA WRITE UP A VIC/SLAVE.
THEN DRAW. THEN BETA-READ. THEN DRAW SOME MORE. AND THEN SEW. BUT DAMNIT.
IM ALL FEELSY RIGHT NOW. AND I DON'T THINK IT'S THE PMS. WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?
This story has been an amazing journey, and I just want to say thank you all for reading. You guys are the best and I seriously appreciate all of you.
Bitch please, ya'll are TOTES FABULOSA! So never EVER forget that, kay?